It’s in the nature of human beings to be ever-changing people. Even if you sat down today and drew a list of all the things you are and know it’ll be wrong by tomorrow. This is because each day you change a little, age very slightly and gather new experiences.
Why then are so many people frightened by the idea of change? Why are so many of us nostalgic for the past? Perhaps one of the reasons for this is due to a fear of the unknown?
In order to get over any fears you might have about change, you need to consider yourself to be a work in progress. Every skill you acquire or interest you develop produces a change within you. The best way to react in this situation is to hold a flexible attitude to life. Even if you are experiencing something negative, something challenging, or something mundane, you will develop and grow accordingly.
However, there are always going to be something’s you can’t change about yourself. Sometimes you can improve a little, but sometimes you can’t change at all. If you are a fully grown adult and five feet tall, you are unlikely to make yourself 6 foot through determination to change alone.
Keep your goals realistic by recognising in which areas you can become more adaptive and reflexive. Living happily is about accepting your limitations without putting yourself down for them.
Part of the process of change is to make mistakes. Human beings are far from being infallible, Part of the process of learning as human being is to make mistakes and learn from them. The more we learn from our mistakes the more we learn about who we are as people. Whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
It is essential that we become more forgiving of ourselves if we want to remain adaptive. Becoming hung up over the past will only serve to make us less resilient in the face of trouble. Incorporating self-accepting beliefs into your life can really make a difference in your life. A very good reason why they are so helpful is because the encourage correction not admonishment.
When you have self-accepting beliefs you become encouraged to address shortcomings without being negative about them. When problems occur or you behave poorly, you can experience appropriate and proportionate negative emotions. In general, people are better problem solvers when they are not emotionally distressed!
Do you know anyone who is entirely perfect? If you have only conditional self-belief, you believe that you stop being worthwhile if you fail to meet a very narrow set of conditions. Placing extreme restrictions on yourself will be counterproductive in the end. It is far better to be honest and open minded.
Remember, just because you prefer to behave in a certain way doesn’t mean you that you must behave in a certain way. Nor, does your failure to act in that way make you somehow inferior. Instead, this ‘failure’ supports the idea that you’re a fallible human capable of behaving in differing ways at various times.
In essence, failure is sign of your uniqueness as a human being. Learn the lesson from it and move on. You should become more than a product of success and failure, for being adaptive means loving learning.
Becoming comfortable with yourself is essential for adapting to change and countering the negative aspects of life. You need to be able to forgive yourself for the mistakes you make in your life as part of the process of benefiting from change. Learn to judge not from your mistakes, but from your triumphs. After all isn’t a mistake just a side effect of learning? It is through this process that you become a vibrant and unique individual.
Taking change seriously does not mean you have to take yourself too seriously though. Accepting your shortcomings, and learning to laugh at yourself, will do you far more good than dwelling on the past.
However, do not fall in to the trap of thinking you are who you are and that’s the end of it ; if you overstep the mark in your behaviour, then you cannot just accept that and move on.
Becoming more adaptive is a process of both a willingness and acceptance of embracing change.
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