There are many things that people get scared of that change over time. When we are little, our fears tend to exist around losing our parents and family. As we get older we become more introspected. People start to become fearful over how they appear in front of other people.
This fear leads to stubborn pride, bottling up of emotions, and irrational behaviours that negatively impact on our emotional health. The key for us all to discover is the secret to releasing emotions in a positive way.
Ultimately, our fear is of the consequences of showing our emotions - how will people react? Some men can feel under the additional burden of believing that displaying their emotions will make them appear less masculine.
They can feel emotionally trapped by traditional 'macho images'. These images seem to dictate that some emotions are 'feminine' such as fear, anxiety and sadness, and that these can only be shown in restricted measures.
If showing our emotions leaves us feeling exposed and vulnerable, then why do it? There are two main incentives to do so; the first is the effect on us and the second is the effect on our personal lives.
Releasing our emotions can act as a safety valve - relieving inner tensions, like steam out of a kettle. It relieves the pressure of holding them in or disguising them.
Guarded emotions in a relationship can lead to misunderstandings about how you're really feeling. Lack of visible emotions can be taken as a lack of feeling.
This situation can certainly hinder a successful relationship. What can be done? For people in real difficulty there are steps they can take to help themselves.
This is why fear is so important to conquer. Fear is one of the most powerful and damaging emotions in the human psyche. It is through fear that many of the worst behaviours of mankind have originated.
The rise of Hitler and the Nazi’s was down to them successfully harnessing the fears of the German people. Of course whilst fear can be proactive in its effect on behaviour. Its typical manifestation in the individual is as a debilitating constraining influence.
Fear is also one of the biggest contributors to anger. Anger is actually an emotional force that can have positive benefits. Being angry can encourage you to take action or prove something to yourself. However, there are less healthy manifestations of anger that result in extreme behaviours.
You may recognise some of the characteristics of this particular form of anger. These include insisting that others do not insult or ridicule you. Another tell tale sign that you have unhealthy anger issues is if you are the sort of person who places very rigid demands and rules about the behaviour of others.
Your personality will tend to be domineering and over powering towards others. A person with anger issues typically expects total conformity to their will, yet will not regard their own behaviour as unreasonable.
This type of anger typically results in physical attacks towards other, but that is not all. Scheming, plotting, taking revenge, manipulating others, are all associated with people with anger issues.
Warning signals include a raised heart beat and muscular tension in the shoulders and neck. It is often a feeling that overwhelms the individual to the point that it consumes them.
It should be clear from that this type of emotional release is something to be avoided.
Therefore the first lesson is that the self and the situation are not to be considered as two separate entities. Controlling one effectively means you are also in control of another. The successful person does not fear any changes in their lives even if these are forced upon them by circumstances beyond their control.
This is because the successful person is able to remind themselves that while they may not be in control of what happens to them; they are in control of how they react to them.
Of course, for some people, the problem can be not being able to release any sort of emotion. By bottling things up, you can often cause yourself more harm than good.
Your difficulty showing your emotions may not affect you all the time. On close reflection, you may find it's primarily triggered in certain situations or environments, or when you're with certain people. If this is the case, then this is the area you should be focusing on. Clarifying this can also help with the next step.
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