Achieving what you want out of life depends upon you visualising your goal as something obtainable. That, of course, is only a small part of what you need to think about. The reason why so many people fail in achieving their goal is because they do not pay enough attention to the journey. This is a double tragedy because following the journey can be more rewarding than the goal itself.
Personal development is a journey of achievement. The process of going on the journey is as much of an achievement as the attainment of the goal. That is why you should take as much as you can from your own personal journey. There is so much to be gained from making the most out of life. Think about your goal as being the end product of a rewarding process.
There are various ways you can improve your efficiency: Finding good role models is a good place to start. A model or mentor doesn't have to be someone you actually know, but they should be inspirational figures who demonstrate mastery.
Talking to yourself positively. Instead of belittling yourself for the tiniest faults, build yourself up for the smallest successes. Remembering that it all takes energy and effort to succeed. Athletes know that you have to want to win and put in hours of training to make the mark; everyday life also needs that push to succeed.
Quite often being more efficient involves reappraising an unproductive thought. Is it possible to put an alternative interpretation in the place of an irrational judgement? Suppose someone treats you rudely. You may be tempted to think that that person is horrible, or 'everyone dislikes me'.
An alternative interpretation could be: 'I wonder what's happening with that person for them to behave so rudely?' We have the choice how to frame our perceptions.
In addition to these 'primary appraisals', it's important to develop 'secondary appraisals' when we ask ourselves afterwards if there's anything we can do about a life event we've appraised as stressful.
If we feel helpless to change things, or incompetent when facing challenges, then we're less likely to come up with a suitable coping response. Coping effectively with life's problems and failures requires realistic expectations.
Psychologists call these expectations and judgements 'appraisals'. Life events (such as traffic bottlenecks or the boss's gruff voice) aren't a problem unless we appraise them as such. If our appraisals are realistic, we're better able to react to day-to-day life events with a sense of proportion.
The appraisals we make are a product of our belief system. If we hold unrealistic, inflexible beliefs then our appraisals may not be the most appropriate for the situation.
Irrational beliefs often include 'musts' and 'shoulds', with an emphasis on perfection. 'I must be liked by everyone' and 'I must be competent and perfect all the time' are all irrational beliefs. They're difficult - if not impossible - to achieve.
Sometimes, we need to look outside the box when we look at ourselves. See the bigger picture by taking a step back. Being self aware is the key to this. If you lack self awareness, or want to test yourself if you think you have it in spades, think for a while about how and why you tend to act in certain ways. Think about the healthy and unhealthy aspects of your behaviour and what changes you would make to them.
Remember, when it comes to self-appraisal, all of our emotional processes, our attitudes and values , our beliefs and motivations are interconnected. A holistic approach to ourselves improves our being as a whole.
Personal development is the key to building meaningful and satisfying relationships. By looking at the parts you will begin to understand the whole. By making a commitment now to who you are and where you want to be your life can improve in many different ways. In the sense that the act of personal development is as rewarding as the goal itself it is a win win situation
Psychologists have theorised that people have different levels of 'self-efficacy', which is the confident belief that the responses we make to life challenges have a meaningful effect. People with strong self-efficacy face problems with energy and a 'try, try again' spirit.
But how does this quality develop, and why do some people appear to have a higher level of self-efficacy than others?
Self-efficacy comes from life experiences and from people who serve as significant models. It's built up over the years by responding to challenges with action, flexibility and persistence.
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