It might sound strange to hear that there is more than one type of confidence. This is because some behaviours that may appear to be from a confident person are actually not confident at all. What is true confidence?
Well, true confidence is a natural demeanour or aura that is generated from an individual. Its opposite - false confidence - can be witnessed in day to day life in the form of attention seeking behaviour.
What characterises this behaviour is that it lacks genuineness. It plays to the gallery. There are telltale signs like the sideways glance to see who's looking, the exaggerated body language, the overly projected tone of voice.
Knowing that these thoughts are there is an important first stage in overcoming attention-seeking behaviour. They will be negative thoughts like: "I fear that I'm not good enough, everyone here is better than me", or "I'm not attractive, nobody loves me".
You can stop the whole process right there and then by challenging these beliefs with: "Of course I'm good, I'm just as good as the next person" or 'I'm attractive and loveable but I do need to be bolder and chat to people," for example.
But life is life and perhaps we let these thoughts ferment. All is not lost however. You can recognise the feelings that accompany your thoughts and then take action. If you feel undermined, insecure, ignored or unrewarded then be aware of your particular emotional triggers to attention-seeking behaviour. Go back to thoughts that generated the feeling or simply relax and take some time out to examine what is going on.
So how do we rid ourselves of false confident behaviour and replace it with true confidence? The answer is contained in the subtle minutiae of everyday live. The way we conduct ourselves through our body language and tone of voice has a massive impact on the way we are judged by others.
So where should you begin ? Move around as though you're confident - and this goes for standing and sitting also. You'll feel confident as a result - it's that simple, but our minds can get in the way. Ignore your mind for a while. We are psycho-physical beings. If we change our physical behaviour we change our mindset; if we change our mindset we can change our behaviour.
Learn to listen. Nod and smile, question and encourage. Try to actually find out if this energy-taking person you find so hard to deal with has something to say - you might be pleasantly surprised. Also, if you give an example of how to do something well, others may be encouraged to follow your example.
There is something else that every person with self confidence has and you can have it too. Every self confidence person has strong values, beliefs and faith. If you have strong values then, no matter what you do or if you make mistakes, people will admire the power and force within you to do what you have to do to achieve your goals.
There are different ways that people face lack of self confidence, some people have just a strong fear of something and they don’t know what to do about it. But other people have such a low self esteem that they don't feel capable of doing anything by themselves, they feel the need of someone else to do it for them.
Take risks, talk to your self any time you have negative thoughts and change them to positive thoughts. You should not let negativity or fears conquer you, they are usually false fears that are just in your mind.
Self evaluate yourself, don’t compare yourself with other people, there is no point in that, every person has different strengths and limitations, you are good at some things that other people are not good at.
Try to improve yourself every day by pushing yourself a little bit more, set clear goals of what you want to achieve and how you want to achieve it. Manage your mind, don’t let your negative thought create negative feelings you can change it and commit to success, this way you are going to be more confident and successful at anything you do.
My name is David Gates and I would like you to come on a journey with me,. A journey of self discovery where we will achieve things we never felt possible, a life of true bliss.
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