We have all felt regret in our lives before and this is quite normal. The way we think about the past can have a major impact on our own self esteem and future prospects. Being held back by the past is one of the most tragic things that can happen to a person.
Perhaps the biggest contributor to making us who we are, are our past experiences. It is our past that guides us in our decision making and feelings about things.
The past can be a great teacher, but it can also be a disciplinarian. The past has the ability to cause regret, guilt and shame. Past mistakes can haunt us forever if we allow them too. It is fair to say, therefore, that thinking about the past is not as simple as we might like to believe.
Sometimes, people go through a negative experience and are able to make something good come out of them. At other times, some people dwell on this past misfortune and allow it to consume them. The belief system you adopt as a result of your experiences is one of the single biggest contributors to your mental well being .
So we can see so far the relationship between past experience, belief systems and future behaviours. Unhealthy beliefs cause us to be prejudiced individuals who tar everybody with the same brush.
The way that we process information is distorted by unhealthy beliefs. In fact what happens is that even if you come across information that contradicts what you believe in – it becomes distrusted and rejected.
The mind can waste a lot of energy on detrimental beliefs. Remember that a belief is not a fact! You should not think that what you believe about yourself today is necessarily true. People have had some crazy beliefs over the years.
For instance, entire cultures have developed on the belief of the world being flat, or that gods live up in the sky. Unless you have taken the time to explore yourself, you run the risk of holding some unhelpful beliefs about yourself.
The deeply held beliefs, referred to as core beliefs by Psychologists, you have developed over the years are yours and yours alone. Negative or positive, they form your character, and frame your attitudes and behaviours.
So engrained are these core beliefs that they operate on a subconscious level. We all tend to behave according to the beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world around us. Unhealthy beliefs lead to unhealthy behaviours and vice versa. The impact these unhealthy beliefs can have on your personal relationships can be devastating.
Sometimes we need to bite the bullet and admit something isn’t working. This can be difficult, particularly if it involves a personal relationship, but making changes is about sacrifice and common sense.
Success tends to spring from happiness and vice/ versa. If you are successful you will tend to be happier and if you are happier success comes that little bit easier. When developing your strategy to reach your goal you need to ascertain what is impeding you and what you need to bring into your life.
Sometimes, we need to look outside the box when we look at ourselves. See the bigger picture by taking a step back. Being self aware is the key to this. If you lack self awareness, or want to test yourself if you think you have it in spades, think for a while about how and why you tend to act in certain ways. Think about the healthy and unhealthy aspects of your behaviour and what changes you would make to them.
Now take some time to consider what it is that makes you, well, You ! What are your attitudes and beliefs? What gets you riled? And what makes you laugh?
Think about all you have achieved thus far, and what there is left to do. You get one shot at life so think hard about this. Remember to take yourself seriously.
Motivation propels us forward into reaching our goals and aspirations. You motivations stem from your values and your needs. By getting both to work together you can become a driven person with the minimal of effort needed. Find your niche that corresponds with your values and you are on to a winner.
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