Anger is one of the most common emotions experienced by people. However, anger is also one of the most significant emotional problems to deal with. For whatever reason, anger has become identified as a growing problem in our society.
From a more personal perspective, anger can lead to the breakdown of relationship’s, stress and anxiety, and other undesirable states of the mind.
If you can learn to control your anger, you will reap many rewards. The problem facing many in society today comes from a lack of emotional maturity, which can lead to many other problems besides anger issues too, I might add. Anger will eat you up from the inside, it has to be eradicated, expunged from your soul; anger needs to be thought of like an enemy.
To understand anger , we must understand the myriad forms it can exist in. The anger spectrum spans many conditions and states of mind. It may surprise you to hear that managed anger can actually be a good thing with regards to motivation, in the same way that controlled aggression is useful for sportsmen.
Mild types of anger can be expressed as annoyance or irritation. However, for some people, anger can get out of control and cause problems with relationships, work and even the law. Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments and physical fights.
It can cloud your thinking and judgment and may lead to actions that are unreasonable and/or irrational. You may recognise some of the characteristics of this particular form of anger. These include insisting that others do not insult or ridicule you. Another tell tale sign that you have unhealthy anger issues is if you are the sort of person who places very rigid demands and rules about the behaviour of others.
Your personality will tend to be domineering and over powering towards others. A person with anger issues typically expects total conformity to their will, yet will not regard their own behaviour as unreasonable.
Anger is all in the mind and can be dealt with by the individual. Even the most unhealthily angry person can self-treat their anger if they have the desire to change. Remember, if you master the mind, you can control all your physical reactions. It is not necessary for anger to underpin all your emotional responses to a negative situation.
One of the best treatments available for anger is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT. CBT offers clear and effective management of anger, by tackling the thinking that underpins your anger and helping you express that anger in a healthy way.
Let’s think a bit more about healthy and unhealthy anger a while:
Healthy anger is helpful annoyance and mild irritation. This is the kind of anger that spurs you on to stand up for yourself in a constructive way. Healthy anger is a motivator to create not to destroy.
Unhealthy anger is unhelpful rage, and hate. This type of anger leads to behaviours of aggression, and violence even in response to mild provocation.
All emotions have triggers that start them off. These emotional triggers are the catalyst for all our responses. That is why successful lovers know which seemingly subtle behaviours have the most impact on a partner. When it comes to anger something as trivial as a brief moment of eye contact triggers a range of deep rooted emotionally angry responses.
Anger can also be the product of frustration; frustration to change ones circumstances ;frustration to change ones environment.
The only difference between unhealthy and healthy anger is in the response. Unhealthy anger is far more likely to cause fractures in your relationships, create trouble in your work-life, or get you in trouble with the police. Anger is also likely to create bad physical feelings as well.
Remember that unhealthy anger is like any negative state of mind. Our relationships with others deteriorate, we begin to think irrationally and our productivity can ground to a direct halt. In short this is a frame of mind that is best to avoid at all costs. Feeling unhappy from time to time is not unusual- but how we choose to deal with a problem comes from our default state of mind. CBT is a way for you to deal with these problems on your own terms.
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